On Wednesday, the new kitty decided to play ',attack Mum on the
stairs.' I fell and tried to roll into it and landed on the edge of the
stair with my ribs. I tried to call for Catie but I couldn't get
enough air in my lungs so I crawled up the stairs to her room and woke
her up. I tried to get Mischief to get her but she just laid beside me
and licked my face.
Catie woke up and called 911. First she told them I was 42 which is
inaccurate but nice. They told her not to let me move and don't touch
me. To hell with that, I didn't have any pants on. She helped me get
shorts on and a bag of frozen peas. She then got me some scope because
for some reason I was upset that I had morning breath. She then locked
all the doors and put the cat in the bathroom and Mischief outside.
I couldn't cry, not only because it hurts like hell but she would cry so we both bucked up and didn't cry.
The
ambulance came and I couldn't argue about going because I was in hell.
The two ambulance attendants were, according to Catie, very cute. One
was a Sheldon with a sense of humour and one had rock god hair in a
ponytail. They drove at 40 km/hr because every time we hit a bump I
screamed. So Catie decided to distract me by one; asking the attendant
could we stop and pick up a tattoo artist because she wants us to get
matching tattoos but I'm afraid of the pain. She figured I wouldn't
notice the pain with the condition I was in.
Two' she decided to list all the furniture and dishes she is taking
when she moves out with friends on August 1st. (Cause that wouldn't add
to my distress!)
People started cutting off the ambulance so she spent the trip giving drivers the finger, to delight of the ambulance attendant.
She told the ambulance attendants my allergies, had been smart
enough to bring my daily medications. She was furious when she was
asked to repeat the information to the nurse and then the doctor and
they still tried to give me Ansaids, which make my stomach bleed. I was
shaking so bad in pain that she offered to get me a carton of milk, to
see if I could make butter.
She asked for a blanket for me twice and when they didn't get it,
walked right past the nurse and took one. She then went back and stood
at the nurse's elbow until they got an icepack.
They stuck an oxygen tube in my nose as I could not breathe deep and she named it the Chinese nose torture.
She tried to cheer me up by promising me Tim Horton's if I was a
good girl during the exam and x-rays. She then decided we didn't want
to be "cockroaches, who can survive anything," anymore. We are now those lizards
that drop their tails when caught by a predator but we couldn't
remember the name so she got the whole ER in on it and we came up with
geckos.
Being my daughter, she was very pleased that the slippers she
brought, perfectly matched the hospital gown. She was in her jammies
with her rock chick boots not even done up.
She is an excellent
wheelchair driver and the nurse asked if they could keep her because she
politely explained to the man who was blocking the door with his
wheelchair that she was going to park him off to the side.
She took me to x-ray and told a woman off for wearing too much perfume, sending me into an asthma attack.
When
the doctor told her I'd cracked my ribs, the first thing she asked if I
could drive. He said no and she was pleased that she would have to take
my truck to drive me to appointments. She then got all the
instructions for ice, heat, medication and food. She then took me to
the Timmy's in the hospital and got me English toffee,
When Dad picked us up, the first thing she said was, "Dad you're
going to have to get me a key to the trucks because I have to drive Mom
around. I'll probably have to take the grasshopper when I move out so I
can be on call for her."
When we got home, she got me to bed with pillows, books and my
netbook and went to work. Her first two customers were the ambulance
attendants.
I can't write much more as it took two days to get
this written. Moving my arm hurts. I am bored out of my skull. The
grandgirlz came to see me and they were delightful. I was upset I
couldn't hold the baby but Rory offered to stay at our house and play Go
Fish all day and Ivy patted me very gently and said, Poor Nona, Kisses
to fix you?
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