Creative Swearing

*From a variety of letters home to Gramma 2005-10

There is a rule in this house against swearing.  I don't care if TV, games and even six year old's shows use curse words nowadays.  I don't like them and I won't accept them. Yes there are times when I swear.  It usually means, "Run for the Hills!!!!," because I can't take it anymore and I am so angry or frustrated I can't think coherently.

Hubby thinks it's hilarious that I am a grownup who blushes when talking about certain body parts or acts but is more than willing to do it.

"Swearwords are for people who have no vocabulary!" was the rule my kids were brought up by.  I just don't find swearing a respectful way of speaking.  I really dislike that the "F" word is in common usage and I have to say I lose respect for people who use it in their everyday language.  I really disrespect people that use what my Gramma would call, "Sailor talk" in front of their kids. 

To me, nothing marks the difference between "low income" and "trailer trash" than language and cursing.

I hate swearing, (If you ever hear me swear you know I'm past anger and into livid.   I won't allow my kids to swear or say mean things to each other; in answer, the family has come up with some creative ways to insult each other;



Caitlin:  (to her brother) You're the electric can opener grunge.

Breyan: (to his father)  Well you just remember Dad, I get to pick your old age home.


Me: (about a theatre critic) You are a little, little man.


Me:  (frustrated with Breyans' teen behaviour)  He has the IQ of a tree.


Dad:  Breyan if you want to get girls, tell smart girls they're pretty and pretty girls they are smart.
Breyan:  Yeah Dad but what do you do if a girl is smart and pretty?
Caitlin:  Marry her before she figures out how dumb you are.

Caitlin:  It's not that you're old Dad, it's....oh it's no fun when there isn't any chance you can catch us anymore.


Caitlin:  Does it get really dark in there?
Dad:  Dark?  What do you mean?
Caitlin:  You know, the cave you live in?


Dad on Breyan's singing
Dad:  Who sings that?
Breyan:  AC/DC
Dad:  Why don't you let them?


My mother telling Hubby: When you see your wife's eyes turn stoplight green---go for a beer 'cause you're in for a world of hurt.

Caitlin: (on Dad mimicking her friends behaviour.)  Just keep it up Dad!  See this cellphone?  It has a camera.  I'll Youtube you!  What will your buddies think of you then?