Early Warning Signs that my Issues have put my kids in therapy for the rest of their lives.

I know that I give my parenting advice as if I’ve all the confidence in the world in my parental skills. I don’t. I think we’ve done some things right, otherwise how could we have raised such beautiful, confident, smart, amazing kids? Yet I know there have been challenges for our children by having Hubby and I as parents.

In kindergarten, the teacher gathered the children into a circle for story time. She was reading them a Christmas book. She would hold it up and ask the children, “Johnny, Who is this?” Excitedly the child would call out, “Santa?” That’s good. ’David can you tell me what this is?” David answered, “A Christmas Tree?” When she held up a picture of Rudolph and asked Catie, “Do you know what this is?” My daughter answered firmly and confidently, “A target!”

Teacher: When Daddy wants to go on vacation, where does he like to go?
Breyan: “He goes and gets a hug from my mom.”

Teacher: Can anyone name any of the four major food groups?
Catie raises her hand: “Oh!  I know this one---Cheese and Chocolate.”

Yvonne: What do you want for snack?
Breyan: “Aunt Yvonne, Can I have some liverwurst, Please, Please, please?”

Catie: Yes I know the difference between Christmas and Hanukah; one is where you light a whole bunch of candles and they spread out the presents and the other is about the guy on a stick!

Teacher: How many boys and how many girls are in your family.
Breyan: We have one boy in our family, one girl and one dead girl.

Catie was banned from showing her show and tell pictures because they showed her with a gun. (She was showing off her target shooting skills.)

Local store manager: Could you please come down to my store? I’m sorry to inform you, you’re son has been shoplifting.
Me: (Horrified) Are you sure it was my son?
Merchant: He shoplifted cheese.
I’ll be right there.

At various points
My Dad has been attacked by sharks, my mom was bombed by a B52 warplane. I was in an avalanche, we were run over by a garbage truck,

Breyan knocking on people’s doors, “please can I have a cigarette for my mommy, she’s being crazy.

Catie: (on noticing a woman driving with a man in the passenger seat of a camero.) Daddy why is that woman driving that man’s car?

Catie: After watching a 1940’s musical with cancan the next day informed her grandfather. “I’m going to be a table dancer when I grow up.”

Breyan snuck out of the house to the backyard after his bath when he was two;
Little girl next door knocks on the door.
Jenny: “Can you please stop Breyan from bothering us girls,
Me: Oh, I’m sorry honey, I’ll bring him in. He just wants your attention,
Jenny: He’s got all the little girls attention, he’s naked.

Breyan's friend. "Your house is so much fun!"
Breyan:  Yep I guess so~If you can afford the therapy.

Caitlin once asked a city bus driver to write her a note that the bus broke down to explain why she was five minutes late for curfew.
He did.