So every once in a while Hubby will get bored and just throw a question out into the air to see my reaction. The other day he came up and asked me, "How do you define a 'slut?"
Of course, my first reaction was, "Uh? What have you been smoking?"
It evolved eventually into each of us describing what defined a "slut?" Now historically the word is based on 'slattern; a woman who is a messy housekeeper.' We were arguing on it's modern usage. Since Hubby is a man, his answer was very simple: "a woman who has had 'x' number of men, usually dresses really cheap." (He couldn't settle on a definitive number, probably in an attempt to spare me from having to kill him.)
For me, being a woman, I don't see the answer as that simple. I see a slut as; a woman with no self-esteem, no respect for her body, who uses sex as a weapon to manipulate people. A woman who has no respect for relationships or boundaries. Simply a woman who uses sex to damage herself or others.
Numbers are just that, numbers. A woman should have the right to have sex with anybody she wants as long as both partners are not in committed relationships, they are of age, use protection and don't wake up in the morning feeling bad about themselves or
their partner.
If we were define every woman who wore trashy clothes as sluts then aren't we just supporting the rape theory; "She deserved it. Did you see how she was dressed?"
I really get my back up when people call someone a name based on their outfit. My philosophy is; Dressing sexy, when appropriate, can be empowering for a woman or a man. Okay, don't wear your rubber mini skirt to work unless you work in a strip bar but if you can pull it off, all the more power to you! I still have a few band-aid dresses in closet from my younger, thinner days. Hubby bought them for me. (Note: a band-aid dress is a dress that covers just about as much as a band-aid.)
As I told the women who gather for coffee in the morning in the park outside every morning, (otherwise known as the Mommy Mafia,) "If I had the perfect figure with great skin and I was that gorgeous? I'd go around naked!"
Getting a body that can wear teeny, tiny little clothes is a heck of a load of work. Think about it. You have to exercise, possibly have surgery and keep your hair, skin and make up to perfection. It's an investment of time and money that most of us are too poor or too lazy to keep up. Let's also remember that trashy clothes are pretty uncomfortable to wear. Just learning to balance and pick something up off the floor in four inch heels and a miniskirt is a skill.
(I refuse to go outside for coffee with the Mommy Mafia anymore as they sicken me with their gossip. Gossip has it's place. I do want to know when my neighbours are suffering from illness or there is suspicion of abuse. I can help. I want to know because I can help. I don't care who my neighbours are sleeping with, unless it's my hubby and even then you'd better have proof.)
I have no respect for a woman who uses her sexuality to try to manipulate people. By 'people,' I don't just mean, "Men." Have you ever been talking to a guy you are attracted to and a woman with camel-toe jeans and a blouse open to her navel will try to attract his attention away from you? She is trying to exert power not only over the guy, but over you as a woman. She is saying, "I'm better than you 'cause this guy wants me." I don't get angry about this. I usually just laugh and feel sorry for her.
Why do I feel sorry for her? Did you read hubby's definition of a slut? Men are not stupid for long. They will figure it out, and the ones worth having will go for quality in the long-term every time.
So this was the debate between me and the Mountain Man. I'm curious how other people define the word, "slut?"
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go get the pliers and see if I can get a number out of Hubby.
Kimberley
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