So how am I going to be her? Well I already own a brown betty teapot.
Of course it also taught me that if you want to know if it’s going to rain today…..stick your head down the toilet! (The water acts as a natural barometer but I like her description better.)
Physically Gramma may seem small and petite---she once described herself as “four foot, both ways! --- But I remember bringing my hubby home to meet my Gramma and Grandpa for the first time. I warned him.
“Grampa may seem like the big scary one but its Gramma you’ve got to impress. She may seem like a cute and cuddly little doll but don’t let that fool you--- she’s sharp as a tack.”
Like my cousins, my son may be six foot four but I tell you when Gramma says ‘jump’, he’ll jump! To this day no one in this family would ever dare to disrespect this woman.
How can this little tiny cherub faced woman hold so much power? Because she is an astute judge of character, a strong disciplinarian, has an endless supply of patience, owns a huge sense of humour and is fascinated by the people and the world around her. How can you not love and respect that?
Most people who know me, know that I was one of the “wild child” children of the family, the black sheep, the one they often had to speak of in whispers and they will tell you that they fully expected to see my face on the “10 Most Wanted.” I admit that I was definitely lost as a teenager. Then Gramma found me.
Until I went to live with her and Grampa for awhile, I thought of people as being temporary in my life. From the circumstances of the way I grew up, I never believed that anyone would or could love you, “no matter what.” Gramma and Grampa proved me wrong.
Hubby laughs at me today when I consider doing something that may seem sketchy and I hear Grammas’ voice in my head sighing, “Kimberley. Do you really think that’s the right thing to do?” Then I do the right thing because I can’t stand the idea that I might disappoint Gramma.
This summer I was out helping hubby in his parent’s garden and time flew backwards. The sun on my back as I weeded, the smell of fresh snapped peas reminded me so strongly of working in my uncle’s garden in C'wood with Gramma. I could see my great-uncle Ken sitting on the back porch and Gramma with her sun hat and flowered, garden gloves. It gave me such a sense of peace and contentment.
Now I talk a mile a minute, often and loudly. When I worked in the garden with Gramma, it was the one place I felt so secure, so calm that I actually had no need for words. (Hubby still doesn’t believe that there is a time when I can keep quiet. He’s offered to drive me and Gramma to C'wood to sneak into whoever owns the house’s garden now just to see it.)
When my own grandgirls come over I find myself giving them lots of hugs and then I head right to the kitchen. In fact just the other day I made my eldest granddaughter deliriously happy by letting her have “little girl’s tea.”
Where does that come from? In any emergency you will find Gramma putting the tea on. Getting a divorce? She’ll just put the tea on. Had a car crash? She’ll put the tea on? Broke your leg---hold on, she’s putting the tea on. I remember the first time Gramma let my own daughter have “little girl’s tea.” My daughter told me she felt so grown up and ladylike.
I still tell Gramma that since we cremated Grandpa and buried him in his beer stein, we are going to have to bury her in a brown betty teapot.
Gramma taught me how to jam, how to make relish, how to bake, how to cook. I thank her for that though maybe hubby’s waistline doesn’t.
When my own children were little they would call hubby’s parents, ‘the good-for-you food Grandparents’ and they would call my Gramma and Grandpa, the ‘junk food Gramma and Grandpa.’
Just the other day, my daughter was telling her friends about the time we visited Gramma when she was a teenager. Gramma had this couch with a storage space underneath the seat. She would keep chips and cookies in it. Gramma offered my kids ‘Cheezies” that Gramma and Grandpa had in there; the orange corn puffs were so old that the “Cheezie” guy didn’t even have sunglasses! (For those of you who don’t know, they put sunglasses on the cheetah logo a decade or so ago.) My daughter’s friends were shocked. “You ate them?” one of the boys was astounded. “Not me but my brother did. He’ll eat anything.” The woman doesn't throw anything out unless she has to. She even has a drawer of underwear elastic. When underwear wears out, she takes off the elastic, just in case....
My fascination for folk remedies and folklore come from Gramma specifically. It was from her that I learned; give my kids mint tea and ginger cookies when their stomachs were upset, “red sky at night sailor’s delight, red sky in morning, sailor’s warning” and that if you want to know if it’s going to rain, check the water level in the toilet, a natural barometer.
She is also a natural secret keeper. If she ever decided to get into blackmail, she’d be rich. It won’t happen though; the woman will take her secrets to the grave.
Her compassion and strength have gotten me through some of the worst experiences in my life.
I remember when Deanna died from SIDS. The first person I wanted to call was Gramma. I needed her to tell me that it was going to be okay, that I could survive this. She did. She did more than that. She said, “Oh Kimberley, what a horrible thing to happen and I’m so sorry it happened to you.” Do you have any idea how much that meant? It meant that I was able to overcome one of the worst nightmares a parent can have and she made me realize that it wasn’t my fault.
The best advice of my life came from her. We live in a world in which bad things happen not because you deserve them but because they simply do. You need to pick yourself up and get on with it. There isn’t another choice.
She taught me that there are five rules everyone has to live by;
- Do not hurt yourself.
- Do not hurt other people.
- Do not hurt animals.
- Do not hurt your environment.
- Any action you take is going to come back at you three times so you'd better choose the good side.
I once had a friend ask me, “Kim, with all the things you’ve gone through, how come you don’t just get in the car and drive into a brick wall?”
The answer is simple. No matter what bad things happen, no matter how dark life gets, I have people who love me, care about me and need me. Love is a gift where you give people yourself and you want to give gifts that are worthy of giving. So don’t focus on the bad things; find the humour, love, and laughter and those minutes of your life that become the good memories that you can draw on for strength. Hold them close to your heart. There is no use holding onto hatred, guilt and bitterness, they will poison you and those around you.
This is what I learned from my Gramma. This is what I hope to teach my children and my grandchildren and I learned it from one of the most caring, smart and strong women I know---my Gramma.
No comments:
Post a Comment