"Multiculturalism is the appreciation, acceptance or promotion of multiple ethnic cultures, applied to the demographic make-up of a specific place, usually at the organizational level, e.g. schools, businesses, neighborhoods, cities or nations"--wikipedia.org
Note: Some names changed to protect privacy
While I am fully behind Canada's multi-cultural ideals; like any political ideal it has it's challenges. My family has to live within the issues by living in Ottawa. (My friend told me the other day she received a, "Welcome to the country," call from her daughter's pre-school. Her family has lived in Canada for 150 years.) Yet it has harmed my children and goes a long way in explaining why Caitlin once told us. "My friends think you guys are the coolest parents---the strictest---but the coolest."
When I think of a multi-cultural society; I often think that it's like a parent trying to raise three different types of kids and they all will take their ball and go home if they don't get their way.
In our own personal family we have experienced prejudice, violence and been victims of this social ideal. I know it's harder for the police to do their job fairly and safely and that they are doing their best but how much can we reasonably expect the law to do without overstepping citizens civil rights?
You don't think a white, English Canadian family with two kids could have suffered that much prejudice in Canada today? Here are some examples;
When my kids were little they were playing in the park. My son called for help. Not for him but for a little girl named Sonya, 7. Sonya had been playing on the swing and a boy named Mohammad, 6 wanted it. So he told her to get off. She refused. He pulled her off by her hair. His mother just sat and watched. When the other kids appealed to her to make him stop she said, "she is just a girl, she should have listened to him."
The adults could not put a hand on Mohammed because another mother had been charged with assault the week before just for pulling Mohammed and his brother off of her son.
Another boy Robert, 9 had enough of that. He picked up Mohammad off of the swing and told him to get out of the playground. Mohammed's mother then jumped up and said she was going to call the police. The other mother's told her, try it.
The police were called but unfortunately they couldn't do anything for Mohammed's mother because amazingly, all the other adult's didn't happen to see a thing.
I've always been proud of my daughter. She doesn't back down from a fight. Threatening her is no use. One year when she was six, Dad made her and Breyan a backyard skate rink. Our backyard is open to traffic walking by. One day Breyan, Caitlin and their friends are outside playing hockey. Caitlin was about 6 and Breyan and his friends about 10. A group of Somalian teens came along and told my kids to get off the ice, it was their turn. They threatened Breyan and his friends with a machete! Breyan ran into the house for help from his dad. I grabbed a baseball bat, ran outside to find my daughter holding up her hockey stick and telling five or six Somalian boys, "C'mon, I'll take you all on!! My daddy built this for me and you can't have it!"
(Two weeks later, Mountain Man's co-worker that lives down the street was mugged by four Somalian men with machete's.)
Vandalism is huge in this neighbourhood. Someone even stole our lawnmower cord! Not the lawnmower, just the cord!
One day Mohammed and his friends went too far in threatening Breyan and I had enough. Mohammed chased Breyan into the house with a stick, Breyan made it in the front door and locked it. Mohammed was at my front door kicking it. I went out the back door and was crossing the park with the intention of talking to Mo's parents when the other mothers told me it was a waste of time?! They said Mo's mother had no control over him because in their religion boys over seven were considered, "Men" and father wouldn't do anything as he saw his son's behaviour as normal and tough. One smarmy- assed hippie freak even tried to stop me by explaining the family came from a war-torn country. I just had to understand that they didn't know any better. (I know for a fact that Mohammed and his brothers were born here, in Canada.)
I knew that calling the cops was useless. Children's Aid and the police knew this boy by name. So the inner Yenta in me came out. I ran to Mohammed's house and started crying to his father. "Please, please come help me. I am just a woman and your son scares me so much!! My husband is not home, I don't know what to do?" I pleaded with him. "Come help me please."
Well he got his shoes and he marched to my house and grabbed his son by the scruff of the neck. He dragged him back to his own house and made him apologize for scaring a woman.
(I got silent applause from the other mothers in the playground.)
My son has just graduated Police Services with honours. Can he apply in the local city units? Yes. Are his chances better if he is a woman or a visible minority? You bet.
I was called a "war mongerer" for having a "We Support Our Troops" poster on my front balcony and ordered to take it down by a couple of neighbours. It's still proudly flying.
I've been looking in the help wanted section of the newspapers for six months and see dozens of jobs I am fully qualified for; but I cannot apply because I am not fully bilingual in French and English. I have a French learning disability. I've taken written, oral and vocabulary classes and still can't ask for poutine in Quebec because the waitresses' keep laughing and thinking I'm asking for a hooker!
I've had people in Quebec beg me to speak English.
The worst experience for our family came when Breyan was in Grade 7. He was playing soccer with the other boys and accidentally hit another boy in the nose with the soccer ball, giving him a bloody nose. (This was right after 9/11.) The boy for some reason told his friends on his way into school that Breyan punched him for being Arabic. THIRTY boys swarmed my son. They held him down, kicked him, and punched him until a teacher interfered.
I flew to the school when I found out. I came in, made sure Breyan was mobile and I told him to get into the car. On the car ride over, my son told me what happened but had no idea why it happened??? Some of those boys were his friends!
The doctor discovered Breyan had a fractured rib, a bruised spleen and multiple bruising and scrapes. My own doctor is Arabic. He was disgusted.
I took Breyan home, put him to bed and went back to the school to find out what they were doing and when I could expect the cops to call at the house for a statement. Only to be told by the school that it was not their responsibility to call the authorities!!!! Worse, there was an Imam there defending the thugs. He said to me; "the boys were only standing up for their rights as Muslims." How dare he?! I was so mad I put my hand on his arm and said, "Buddy it just might be my menstrual cramps talking but I'm telling you this. In this country we do not solve our issues with violence. You want to do that, you go back to wherever you came from. I'll buy you a ticket! And you are their spiritual leader????" (Ps yes I know that a woman who is menstruating cannot touch a man in their religion, They have to go through a five day cleansing ceremony. I do have theology as one of my interests. But I didn't use violence. Sue me!)
Yes that is prejudice but someone just swarmed my son and I was in full, nine-inch nail mode. The principal tried to calm us down. I called the cops and this was the upshot of their results.
1. That the one boy who had told the other kids Breyan hit him for being Muslim would be sent to counseling for three weeks. (the police officer did mention to me quietly that she informed the other twenty-nine it was a lie that Breyan hit him for being Muslim.)
2. Because they could not state which of the thirty kids landed any certain punch no other child would be suspended or charged. (the officer then told me quietly I might want to get my son a pair of steel toed boots.)
3.The two boys that held him down would also be put in counseling.
4. The police could charge no one as the children were all under 12 due to the 'Young Offenders Act.'
5. The school referred to the incident as "regrettable."
Two weeks later another boy was swarmed by the same children. He was placed in an Ottawa Mental Care Facility. His mother took the proper steps to raise awareness by going directly to the news and the school board. Since the bullies caught the boy off school property and the school already had a "zero tolerance" policy in place--nothings changed.
This all took place in a Catholic School.
I tried to make Breyan stay home after the doctors visit but he kept insisting that I drive him right back to school. "Mom," he told me, "If I don't go right back then those kids will think I'm a sucker. I have to go back, I have to face them. You taught me that I'm too big to use my fists as weapons, (Breyan was 5'9" in grade 5.) but you also told me to stand up for myself and use my words. I have to do this, don't you see?"
I did see but being overprotective I told him he could go back the next day after he had some rest and I could drive him. Breyan agreed and I had to laugh when he added, "Um, Mum. Please don't wear your bunny slippers?"
You would think all of this would have left my family bitter and angry and prejudice against Somalians and Arabic's but it didn't due to what happened the morning after my son was swarmed.
There was knock on our door as we were getting ready to leave for school. Outside my door were about twenty kids; white, black, Arabic, eastern kids. It looked like a mini-UN.
"What do you want? I demanded ready to grab the bat.
One Chinese girl spoke up. "We are here to walk Breyan to school. We don't like what happened yesterday and we are going to make sure it doesn't happen again."
I spent the rest of my day in tears. Who knew children could be so wise? Maybe this multi-cultural thing can work out?
Note: Thanks to the efforts of a group, Victims of Violence the chances of things like this happening again are being greatly reduced. Take the time to get to know them, send them money if you can or consider them for your volunteer hours. Their link is on the side. If you are not in Ottawa, any local law inforcement agency will have information on similar groups putting in their efforts. These guys are one of my heroes.
No comments:
Post a Comment